


how to make your best friend hate you in nine months or less

by hannahJeanne



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, More tags to be added, also yes melissa is a lesbian and yes she has a girlfriend, bill plays the french horn probably idk, but if you know me at all you know i hate charted with a passion, emma does still go to a different school but she is also still a stoner and works at beanie’s, in case you didn’t get that, melissa plays the flute, oh yeah i forgot to mention it’s a high school au, paul and melissa and bill are all band kids, paul plays the trumpet, so don’t expect this to be very charted/charlotte friendly, ted is the kicker for the football team, there’s a bit of paulkins but it doesn’t really become PAULKINS!!! until the next book, there’s also a little bit of charted, yes this is a series
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26739178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahJeanne/pseuds/hannahJeanne
Summary: Ted and Paul have been best friends since middle school. But Ted gets some news that changes everything about his life.
Relationships: Charlotte/Sam (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Melissa (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)/Original Character(s), Paul Matthews/Ted, Sam/Zoey (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. She’s Pregnant? Tough Shit, Dude

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! i’ve had like three chapters of this thing sitting in my drafts for several months, and i thought, ‘why not share it?’ this is the first fic i actually have a solid plan for, so get ready kiddos! hope you enjoy.

Paul's phone chimed quietly from the coffee table in front of him. The screen lit up, providing the only source of light in the whole house (besides one small lamp in the living room). He grabbed the device and saw that Ted had texted him. _'Of course he's still awake at midnight,'_ Paul thought.

_[ted]: your mom's out of the house, right?_

_[paul]: Yeah, she went to visit Dad in Ann Arbour. Some serious trouble with his job or something. She won't be back for a few weeks. Why?_

_[ted]: i just need to talk to someone. you busy?_

_[paul]: Not unless you count mindlessly staring at a television that's not even turned on_

_[ted]: very funny._

_[paul]: Come on over._

_[ted]: thanks_

Ten minutes later the doorbell rang. Paul opened the door to see Ted looking absolutely miserable. His eyes were red and his hair was a mess.

“Hey, Paul,“ he said.

“Are you okay, Ted?“ Paul asked in reply.

“'M fine.“

“You’re drunk, aren't you? I hope you got rid of the evidence, otherwise your dad-“

“Yeah, I’m not an idiot, okay?“ suddenly Ted’s voice was a lot louder than Paul’s.

Paul blinked dumbly at the empty air between them. Ted raised his voice a lot when they were in public, but it always startled Paul when they were in a quiet setting. “Right,“ he said. “Sorry. Here, come in. Sit down, I’ll make you some tea.“

Ted nodded and walked through the threshold. Paul closed and locked the front door behind him and then silently moved into the kitchen. While he was boiling water for the tea he decided he wanted some coffee, so he started fiddling with the coffee machine to make himself a cup. They didn't have any decaf, but that was fine. The stuff usually didn't effect Paul much anyway, considering he'd been drinking coffee for so long. He made quick work of both drinks and walked to the living room.

Or, he tried to. Ted was sitting on the floor in the middle of the walkway. And he just looked so... pathetic that it brought a pain to Paul’s chest to look at him. So he didn't. Paul instead edged around his figure to put the drinks down on the coffee table, then returned to Ted.

“I meant on the couch, dumbass. Come on, up we go. That's it.“ Paul spoke softly to Ted as he helped the other teen up and to the couch. Ted sat in the same pathetic position, except this time he had a cup of tea in his hands.

“What’s up?“ Paul asked.

Ted sighed heavily, but didn't speak for a moment. Finally, he said, “Charlotte’s pregnant.“

“Oh. Holy shit.“

The younger teen laughed, but there was no joy behind it. It was a rough, empty, sad sound. More pain in Paul’s chest.

“Yeah. Holy shit. It's, uh...“ Ted started fiddling with the paper card attached to the teabag. “It’s Sam’s baby. They're putting the kid up for adoption, but Char still wants me to go to ultrasounds and shit.“

“Oh. So, are you two still...?“

“We agreed to stop seeing each other. It's for the best, right?“

“Yeah... I'm sorry, I know you really cared about her.“

Ted didn't reply, instead he took a sip of tea, and then set the cup down.

Paul was the one to speak again. “do you need, like, a hug or something?“

Ted scoffed, but didn't say no. Paul knew his friend well enough to know that meant yes, so he set his coffee down and wrapped his arms around the other teen. Ted, upper arms being somewhat trapped by Paul’s, hugged his friend's waist and buried his head in Paul’s shoulder.

Ted sniffled into Paul’s shoulder and he could tell the other was trying not to cry, so he started rubbing comforting circles into Ted’s back.

“I’m just really worried about her,“ Ted mumbled between broken breaths of air.

“I know.“

“And I don't know what to do because that scumbag Sam isn't going to pay for any of the ultrasounds even though he has money, I just know it! what the hell can I do about it, though? I don't even have money to help pay.“

“I know, Ted. I'll lend you whatever you need, okay?“

“No, no, I can't-“

“Ted?“

Ted pulled his head up and locked eyes with Paul. “Paul.“

“Just accept my help, okay?“ The brunette sighed and eventually nodded, and Paul smiled. “Good. Let's watch something, huh?“

Paul moved his right arm to grab the television remote. Ted, arms still hugging Paul’s waist, shifted so his head was leaning against Paul’s chest and so he was no longer cross-legged. As Ted got comfortable, Paul surfed movies for a second until he found the perfect one. A moment later the Disney logo flashed across the screen.

“Wait a second,“ Ted mumbled, half speaking into Paul’s chest. “Is this...? Oh, Paul, did you put on Moana?“

Paul chucked lightly and nodded. “Sure did.“

“Come on, I know you're trying to cheer me up, but you hate this movie.“

Paul hummed in response. “It’s your favorite movie, and you're sad, so just shut up and watch it.“

Ted huffed, but settled in anyway.

Paul spent more time looking at Ted than at the screen because he wasn't wearing his contacts or his glasses, and after about half an hour he was asleep.

Paul woke up after some time. how long, he wasn't sure, but it had to be at least an hour, because the television was on the menu page. The teen moved grab the remote and turned the tv off. As he shifted, however, a still-sleeping Ted whined and pulled him closer.

Ted.

He and Ted were... cuddling. Like, properly. Somehow in their sleep they'd managed to move so both teens were laying down on the couch, Paul’s head propped up on a pillow, and they were spooning. Paul was apparently the big spoon, seeing as he looked down (with a very panicked expression on his face) to see a slumbering Ted resting his head on Paul’s chest. Ted looked so peaceful that Paul didn't want to wake him, but when he'd checked his phone he saw that it was two in the morning.

“Ted,“ he whispered. “Ted, wake up. Theo.“

At that last nickname Ted finally stirred. he blinked sleepily up at Paul and frowned slightly. “Paul?”

After a moment Ted seemed to realize what was happening and he very quickly and very awkwardly removed himself from where he was clinging to Paul and opted instead to sit on the other side of the couch. Paul sat up as well. “Sorry,” Ted mumbled.

”No, uh, it’s fine. But it’s also two o’clock in the morning and I don't want your mom to get worried. Can I drive you home?“

Ted shook his head. “Dad gets back tomorrow morning. Mom wants me out of the house so I don't have to deal with him.“

“What are you going to do then?“

“Sleep in the park, probably.“

“Ted, no. It's freezing outside. Why don't you, um... stay here? We'll have to share the master bed because mine is sort of covered in textbooks and shit, but it's better than you fucking freezing to death.“

Ted blinked for a moment. _'Shit,'_ Paul thought, _'I shouldn't have asked. Ted must think I’m weird.'_ But after a moment the dark-haired teen spoke.

“Are you sure? You don't mind?“

“Of course not.“

“Thanks, man.“

Paul got Ted a spare toothbrush and they started getting ready for bed.

Ted was about to climb under the sheets, but Paul stopped him. “Are you seriously going to sleep in jeans?“ he asked.

“Uh, yeah?“

“Hold on.“ Paul disappeared into his room and grabbed a pair of sweatpants. He tossed them to Ted as he walked back into the bedroom. “Here.“

Paul politely turned away as Ted changed and then the two climbed into bed on opposite sides. Paul had never exactly been comfortable sleeping in his parents' bed, and he wasn't sure if his friend being there next to him made it better or worse.

Paul’s body seemed to think it made it better, though, because Ted mumbled, “Sleep well,“ and Paul did.

The next morning Paul woke at the sound of his alarm and immediately groaned. Today was Saturday, which meant he and Ted had a football game. Or, rather, Ted had a game and Paul had to go sit in the stands and sweat his ass off blowing into a trumpet for three hours.

Paul was ripped from his internal complaint by Ted’s voice. “You gonna turn that off?“

The older teen realized he had yet to turn off the screaming alarm. He did so and then turned to Ted, who was already wide awake and sitting up.

“Didn’t peg you for the early bird type,“ Paul said as he pushed himself up to a sitting position.

Ted shrugged. “I didn't get much sleep last night, actually,“ he said, and then yawned as if to prove his point.

“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that. Get up and get going, though, you've got a game today. Give me a sec, I’ll get you a towel and a fresh shirt.“ Paul slipped into his room and pulled out a towel and a random band shirt (upon closer inspection Paul realized it was a Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt) before tossing both items to Ted and telling him to take a shower.

Ted nodded vaguely, and took a second to look over the shirt.

“Uh, I’ll have breakfast ready when you're out of the shower,“ Paul sai. “How does scrambled eggs and bacon sound?“

Ted smiled, if only a little. “Sounds perfect.“

With that, Paul left to start on breakfast. When Ted emerged from the shower, Paul told him to help himself, and then he left for his own shower. When both boys were ready to go, Paul dropped Ted off at the field house and parked before walking into the band hall.

The band hall was _loud_ today. Louder than usual. Frankly, Paul could already feel a headache forming, and he might have just turned around and left, but Bill and Melissa (his only two actual friends in the band) saw him and waved him over.

It was going to be a long game.


	2. When In Doubt, Breakfast Food.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mrs. Matthews learns some very interesting things about her son and his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy! <3

The game sucked, as usual, but neither teams really cared. It was Hatchetfield versus Sycamore, and while the student bodies didn't get along fantastically, the football teams and bands were cool with each other, so nobody really cared when Sycamore lost. Paul gave Ted a ride home. Ted forgot to get his clothes back from Paul, and vice versa, but neither really minded much.

The next few weeks progressed similarly: Ted would sleepover at Paul’s on Fridays, they would talk about shit like the pregnancy or their parents or whatever they wanted, and then Paul would drive Ted to the field house the next day.

The weekend of the last game of the season, on Saturday morning at about three, Paul woke up to the lights in the master bedroom being turned on. He squinted and tried to open his eyes as he hugged his pillow closer, thinking it was just Ted and he needed something, but then he realized that he was not in fact cuddling a pillow but he was cuddling Ted. So who turned on the lights? He managed to wrench his eyes open to see Ted trying to separate himself from Paul. Then he saw who turned on the light.

It was his mother.

“Wh- Mom?“ Paul squinted again.

“Um, hi Mrs. Matthews,“ Ted greeted, mirroring Paul’s sitting position.

Paul’s mom stood silently for a moment, frowning with clear confusion. “Hello, boys. Would you, ah, mind explaining all of this?“ She gestured vaguely to the bed.

Paul stumbled over his words for a second before Ted swooped in and saved them both. “You see, Mrs. Matthews,“ he started, “I’ve actually started sleeping over here on Fridays, just because it's more convenient for Paul not to have to pick me up before games. And you know usually I’d sleep on the couch, but Paul has a bunch of school crap on his bed so he suggested we share.“ Ted smiled easily. “We’re good enough friends for it not to be weird, so I agreed.“

She pondered this for a minute and then nodded. “Alright, I suppose that's fine. You go right back to sleep, Ted. Paul, honey, a word please?“

Paul reluctantly got up and followed his mom out of the room (but not before mouthing 'thank you' to Ted), turning out the light as he went.

He joined his mother on the couch in the living room.

“Paul,“ she said, “is there something you want to tell me?“

Paul sighed. “No, Mom.“

“Sweetie, it's okay if you're gay, just don't-“

“Oh my god...“

“Just don't have sex in my bed.“

“Mom!“

“What?“

“That is not what we were doing. Ted is just a friend. You should know that by now.“

She puts her hands up in defense. “I just thought I’d ask, hon. I would like to point out, however, that you didn't say anything against you being gay.“

“I’m not gay, mom.“

“Bisexual, then? I had a friend in college who was bisexual, you know? She used to go on double dates with me and my then-boyfriend, I had a lot of fun with her.“

Paul hesitated with this one. He didn't like lying to his mom, so the fact he didn't say no immediately probably tipped her off. But nobody knew yet, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to tell anyone. After a painfully long silence he settled on an answer. “Can we please not have this conversation while my best friend, who doesn't even know yet, is right down the hall?“

“Okay, sweetie. Go back to bed, I’ll take the couch tonight. I love you.“

“I love you too.“

Paul slipped back into the king size bed and quickly fell asleep again, unaware of how unevenly Ted was breathing beside him.

-

Ted was in a very strange situation. He was sat at a table in a plain-looking room. Paul and Charlotte both sat across from him. His left hand was in Charlotte’s, his right in Paul’s. Sam stood behind Charlotte with a hand on her shoulder. Another girl mirrored Sam’s position with Paul. Ted recognized her - she was the stoner from Hatchetfield High who worked at that shitty coffee shop. What was her name again? Emily? Esther? No, no, Emma! Yeah, Emma. All four of them were looking at Ted with the same sympathetic look. Charlotte and Paul wore some fondness in their gazes, while Emma and Sam seemed to almost be mocking him. They all looked at him with sympathy, though, no matter what else it was mixed with.

”Uh... guys? The fuck is going on?” Ted asked. Nobody responded. “Hello?”

Again nothing. Ted attempted to stand up, but he found he was practically glued to the chair.

”What the fuck?”

”Oh, Ted,” said Charlotte, tone matching the expression in her eyes. “It’s time to wake up now.”

”What? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

Suddenly, the vision before him vanished, and he squinted and blinked.

Ted looked around. He was confused for a moment until he remembered he was at Paul’s house.

It was just a dream.

Ted looked to his right to see Paul propped up on one elbow, concern lacing his features.

“Hi,“ was the first thing that came out of Ted’s elegant mouth.

“Hi,“ Paul repeated. “Are you okay?“

“Fine. Why?“

Paul frowned. “You were kinda squirming in your sleep. I was worried you were having a bad dream or something.“

Ted blinked. Paul was worried about him? _'No, Jesus Christ, Ted. Get it together, man.'_ “Well I wasn't. Having a bad dream.“

“Okay, whatever you say dude. I'm going to let you have the shower first so I can make breakfast, okay?”

Ted nodded and swallowed thickly. “yeah, okay.”

Paul flashed him a soft smile (who allowed him to smile like that?) and left the room.

Ted sighed when Paul left and made his way to the bathroom after a second. while getting ready to shower, he let his thoughts wander.

It wasn’t always like this, you know. Ted didn’t used to think about his best friend like that. Like he had some... schoolboy’s crush on him. It had started around the time he’d figured out that Charlotte was pregnant. Maybe it was that night that he first figured out, when he had cried himself to dehydration and then had gotten drunk instead of drinking real water. That night when he’d shown up at Paul’s house, watery-eyed and still a little drunk. When Paul had made his favorite type of tea and put on his favorite movie and held him close until they both fell asleep.

When Paul had _cared_.

Ted got a warm feeling in his chest as he remembered Paul holding him the way he’d always wished Charlotte would. That first night, and last night as well when Paul’s mom had found them.

God, speaking of last night.

Ted was sure Paul thought he couldn’t hear, but he did. He heard loud and clear. Paul had basically inadvertently come out as bisexual. To both his mother, and to Ted.

Paul was bisexual.

Ted had a chance.

’Fuck, no! stop it. Paul is your best friend.’

He mentally slapped himself and got in the shower, trying to think of anything else.

Ted stepped out of the shower ten minutes later, clean and ready to go. He poked his head out of the bathroom to see if anyone was in the hallway, and when no one was, he quickly made his way across to Paul’s parents’ room. On the bed was a stack of clothes with a sticky note on top.

It read, “Saw you forgot clothes again :) - Paul”

Ted smiled and set the note aside. He pulled on the clothes (jeans and a Nirvana shirt, of course. It seemed like every time Ted came to this house, he left with a band t-shirt) and stuck the note in his pocket before walking out into the main part of the house.

Mrs. Matthews was sitting in the living room with a cup of tea. On the television was a giant version of Mr. Matthews’ face. Mrs. Matthews saw Ted and waved him over with a smile.

”Oh, good morning Ted! Come here,” she said. “Nathan, look who it is!”

Ted realized as he waved at the television that Mrs. Matthews was video-calling her husband.

”Hello, Mr. Matthews,” Ted said with an easy smile. “How’s Ann Arbor?”

“Very nice indeed. You’re going to come take my class when you graduate, right?”

Ted laughed. “We’ll see.”

”That we will, Ted. You been looking after my boy while his mom’s been visiting me?”

Ted nodded, still smiling. “Yes sir.”

Ted heard Paul scoff from the kitchen.

”Very good,” Mr. Matthews continued. “Say, you’re good with the ladies, aren’t you? How’s about you find Paul a girlfriend?”

Ted laughed nervously and opened his mouth to stutter out an answer when Paul walked in from the kitchen. He was probably making pancakes because he had flour all over his face. It should have been gross, but shit, it was really hot.

Then again, Ted seemed to think everything about Paul was really hot.

”Dad, leave him alone,” Paul said, stirring the bowl of batter as he walked over to stand by Ted.

”What? I was just asking.”

Ted could definitely see how Mr. and Mrs. Matthews were married.

”Ted, could you help me with breakfast?” Paul asked.

Ted nodded and turned to the screen for a second. “It was lovely speaking with you, Mr. Matthews.”

Mr. Matthews nodded. “and you.”

Ted followed Paul into the kitchen.

He rocked back on his heels and watched Paul set the batter down. “What do you need me to do?” he asked.

”Huh? Oh, nothing,” Paul replied. “I was just trying to save you from the embarrassment of dealing with my dad’s questions.”

Ted chuckled. “Oh, well you didn’t need to do that. You know how capable I am of charming your parents. Thanks, though. I wasn’t sure how to tell your dad that the barista you’re crushing on is a stoner.”

Paul, who had leaned down to pull something out of a cabinet, looked up quickly with wide eyes. “What?”

It was a shot in the dark, but Ted could tell that he had hit the bullseye with how Paul reacted.

_‘Looks like you don’t have a chance after all, dipshit.’_

Ted didn’t let his disappointment show. Instead, he said, “Yeah, Emma? Right? Works at Beanie’s, goes to Hatchetfield High. Brown hair, really short, pretty cute.”

”I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

”No? The, ah, _latte hottay_ , as she’s known throughout the land? Eh?”

Paul was silent for a second.

Then he burst out laughing.

”Jesus, Ted, that is a horrible impression.”

”What? No it’s not! It’s one of my best.”

”I’d hate to hear your other ones, then.”

Ted scowled. “rude.”

Paul shrugged, still smiling at Ted.

For a moment they stood there, staring at one another, until Ted spoke.

”Uh- if you wanna go take a shower I can finish the pancakes.”

”Ted, do you even know how to make pancakes?”

”Yes I do! Besides, you already finished the batter, so all I have to do is pour and flip.”

”If you say so. Thanks.”

”Sure.”

Paul walked away.

Not long after he did so, Mrs. Matthews ended the call with her husband and came over to where Ted was.

”Hello Ted,” she said.

”Hi Mrs. Matthews..”

”Do you need any help?”

”Oh, no thank you. I’m almost done anyway.”

”Right, right.” She was silent for a short second. “So, how’s Paul been since I had to leave?”

”He’s been doing good. I know you’ve had to do this kind of thing before, so I guess he’s used to it by now.”

”Yes, well it does always help to have a friend with him I suppose.”

Ted smiled as he put the last pancake on the plate. “I guess so.”

”Tell me, how long have you and Paul known each other again?”

Ted didn’t even have to think about this question. “Coming up on five years, next week.”

”Five years! I had no idea it’s been so long.”

”Yeah. I should get him a gift or something,” he joked.

”That sounds like a great idea! If not a gift, why don’t you take him out to dinner?”

”Uh...” Ted laughed, a little nervously. Was Mrs. Matthews suggesting he take Paul out on a date?

_‘Not a date. Just dinner, to celebrate five years of friendship.’_

”Er... alright,” he said. “Yeah, I’ll do that. I believe it’ll be friday, is that alright with you?”

”Oh, that sounds perfect.”

Ted smiled uneasily. It was at this moment that Paul came back from his shower. He was dressed in a pair of black jeans (a little on the tighter side, unfortunately for Ted’s poor heart) and a white Rolling Stones shirt.

Ted’s breath hitched, and he prayed to god Mrs. Matthews didn’t notice. Judging from the quick glance she tossed in his direction, she probably did.

There was something about Paul that looked different today. Ted couldn’t quite place it. but whatever it was, it was a damn good look for him.

Gaining his composure, Ted acted like he hadn’t (probably) gotten caught drooling over Mrs. Matthews’ son, and said, “Go sit down, I’ll fix you a plate.”

Paul nodded and smiled.

While Paul had been in the shower, Ted had also taken the liberty of making eggs and sausage, Paul’s favorite breakfast food (besides pancakes of course). Ted began to pile food onto a plate for Paul.

”Eggs and sausage,” Mrs. Matthews said. “Paul’s favorite.”

Ted hummed in acknowledgement.

”Look... Ted, dear, it’s alright if you...”

_’Oh god, she knows.’_

”Go on,” Ted prompted.

”It’s alright if you like Paul.”

shit.

”Er- of course I like Paul! He’s my best friend.”

”You know what I mean, dear.”

ted sighed. “Yeah, I do.”

”Just be gentle with him, alright? He’s a senior already, and lord knows he needs to find _someone_ , but just be careful with him. let him take it at his own pace.”

”I will, Mrs. Matthews. But, ah... I don’t think Paul sees me like that.”

Mrs. Matthews smiled, sighed, and shook her head, before grabbing her now-full plate and going to sit down at the table.

Now more than a little confused, Ted finished both his and Paul’s plates and sat down to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven’t quite figured out a posting schedule for this, but expect them every couple of weeks or so. thanks for being patient :)

**Author's Note:**

> so that was the first chapter! what'd y’all think? let me know what you like, and what you think i should change. those of you who heard about this from my crossover fic, i’ll be taking that fic down either tomorrow or friday. there’s a chance i’ll pick up another crossover fic, but i want to focus on this one right now. thanks for reading :)


End file.
